


untitled 4762

by ParanoidAndroid (HomesickAlien)



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: M/M, concert date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomesickAlien/pseuds/ParanoidAndroid
Summary: alissa fuels meleave the band/song up to your imagination.
Relationships: Kai Toshiki/Sendou Aichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	untitled 4762

**Author's Note:**

> alissa fuels me
> 
> leave the band/song up to your imagination.

It’s so stuffy out here.

The energy is loud, it’s excessive, it’s rigid and hard to follow. At least, it is for someone like Aichi, someone who’s most grand experience has been on the stage playing cards rather than instruments. That is already enough to have his heart burst out from his chest, and collapse his own frail bones until he turns into dust in the wind. He doesn’t know how he does it, but maybe it’s by the same sort of spiritual possession that music gives Kai.

Those eyes are deeply focused, almost divine, he grips Aichi’s hand a little tighter just to say _I’m still here._ I’m still alive. It can be a little hard to tell in the moment, at what point will the world tear open, and this reality fade away to just another worthless memory. 

Somehow, even in tense waters, he feels himself liquifying. The beat of a drum pulsing through the stage fills his own heart, even so far away the reverberation overtakes his entire body. He falls through completely in the place where it starts, his own thoughts fail to process. Now, it’s just his own self and the buzzing, and the wave of people that fall between him and the stage. Why, it just feels endless now. At any moment his legs are going to give in, and now he’s the one gripping onto Kai trying to stay here. Stay in this reality.

And what does Kai give him to satiate this out of body experience but a smile unlike any he’s seen before.

_Is this the person you were meant to be?_

His head is pounding. It’s only been a few minutes, or maybe it’s been a lot longer, he can’t really differentiate one song from the other. Somehow, he manages to process the sensation of touch, one he almost instinctively pushes away with a cluster of a thousand other egos pressing into his, but he should know by now Kai always has Aichi in his hold. A gentle, protective dragon with a flame that warms a weathered soul. 

Closer, higher, enough for Aichi to feel Kai’s lips brush against his ear. _This song,_ he’s speaking so loudly and yet the words come to him in muffled drones. Like a seashell’s voice. He can hear lots of words, from the crowd, from the distance, but they just don’t sound like anything but liquid metal. Like walking through rainy mud. The strum of a guitar’s string that cuts like the sharpest knife keeps every sound in tune, it holds the melody while the drums ripple the time. He’s counting now, again, _it’s my favorite. It makes me think of you._ He’s intensely focused now, intensely tense now, but he doesn’t know the words to this song at all, and even as Kai explains himself, they don’t have any meaning to him whatsoever.

Yet, this moment is marked in his mind forever. It’s impossible not to revisit the space of his heart losing control of itself, of his heavy head drained of all worries, of his fears for this crumbling universe becoming all as it should. A song as meaningless as the leaves falling in autumn, a song as filled with life as the passion of those who scream their fears to an unanswering, unwavering God.

When the show settles down, and pitters out the way a heavy storm does, Aichi can’t seem to move at all. Everyone else does, expectedly, as if they’ve done this a hundred times before, whether drunk or lost or astray they know when the final song ends, and it’s time to let the bar close. 

Kai helps him along, let’s Aichi lean against his body as he limply follows Kai’s movements. The moon is so bright and beautiful following the life leaving his body. He could almost touch that place once again, he thinks about trying, but before he manages Kai lifts Aichi up into his arms. “SORRY.” He says, even though Aichi’s certain Kai isn’t, it might as well have been a scream to his ringing ears. God, they really are ringing like crazy, is he still speaking? Aichi looks at Kai’s face that’s drizzled with sweat yet filled with anxious excitement. “DID YOU HAVE FUN?” 

Fun, that’s not exactly what he’d call it, but the reward is too sweet to say otherwise. Actually, sharing Kai’s love fills his heart with a wonderful feeling even if it’s something like this. And his heart also feels a bit lighter after all, almost emptied completely.

He wonders how long it is before he finally nods his head against Kai’s rumbling chest. He’s actually not even completely sure he’s awake, after losing the motivation to retain consciousness in being carried. It’s hard to fully get a grip on his melted vessel, the only thing that keeps him fully present is the vibration still running through his entire body. The show is still going on inside his restless body, the guitar strings that steal his strength, the drums that his organs are pulsating with, the voice that echoes around that cavern with words that have no reason but what Kai says to him they do. _They remind me of you._ Was it even so romantic? 

He quietly muses to himself, what song did Kai retain, what song is still playing inside of him. Is it just a mess of sounds that hold no significance, or something so much more than that? He presses his burning ear to Kai’s body, somewhere deep inside that gurgling ringing of his natural functions are words only Aichi is hearing. 

A song that screams for sweet release. A song that longs for a love eternal. A song that asks for healing, and a song that rips that healing in two, and then begs to start anew. How many times should they start their lives anew? His head is buzzing far too much to ponder such a thing.

Maybe, true happiness is an imperfect crack in a road that never stops. At some point, they’ve both come to a halt. At some point, he’s ended up in a bed with Kai sitting gracefully at his side. That smile still hasn’t faded, he reaches out to touch it but his arm is too heavy to reach. He barely raises it a few centimeters before giving up, and letting it fall to his thigh.

“I love you,” Are they even words, or just the dreams of a song that whispers away with the smoke of a lighter. “So much.”

A spark that takes him out of this life, that brings the empty chasm of a dream that doesn’t explain a thing about this world they share together. One of a hundred possibilities are speeding away from him once again, and maybe this time they’ll return to all their greatest mistakes and failures begging forgiveness. 

They’ll keep walking together, until it stops, until the feeling is no longer regret, but peace for the life it’s brought them. 

This is… Just… Another… 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, comment, be safe as always.


End file.
